Thursday, November 17, 2011

Chants & Chairs

A word of warning: this is a pretty long post (I know, aren't they all?) so best settle in with a cup of tea :-)

As you could probably tell from my previous post, the unrelenting schedule of ashram life tends to result in one day being quite indistinguishable from the next. Fridays are different because they are "free days", but really the only other excitement for the week (apart from when the boutique restocks its supply of coconut balls) is the Saturday night talent show.

Those who know me well are fully aware of how much I love the sound of my own voice, so it should come as little surprise that I was unable to resist the lure of the microphone on talent show night.

To set the scene, by Saturday morning the number of people who had signed up to perform at the show was zero. This lead the Ashram director to declare that if there was no talent show he would be forced to give us a long boring lecture instead. This was how I decided that maybe I should spend my precious few hours of free time knocking up a chant about how I was coping with ashram life.

I performed the chant below on my first Saturday night and it detailed how I felt on my second day at the ashram. It was performed in a call and response style so everyone had to join in.


Ashram Life
By Bernadette Wilson

A chant to the tune of the daily chant at the Sivananda Vedanta Ashram at Neyyar Dam Kerala.

1. Bell rings, wake
Enjoy satsang in the dark.
Bell rings, wake
Enjoy satsang in the dark.

2.Sit & meditate, chant & pray
My legs have gone numb.
Sit & meditate, chant & pray
My legs have gone numb.

3.Oh when is tea time?
When is tea time?!
Why didn’t I eat more
At dinner last night?

4. Prayana, asana,
Get your body to move.
Prayana, asana,
Get your body to move.

5. The only pose I’m good at
Is savanasa.
The only pose I’m good at
Is savanasa.

(NB* Savanasa is the "corpse pose". You just lie on your mat like you are dead :-)

6. Who knew it was possible
To sweat this much?!
Who knew it was possible
To sweat this much?!

7. Cross-legged eating
Use your right hand.
Cross-legged eating
Use your right hand.

8. Oh no! They’ve run out
Of sweet delicious rice.
There’s never enough
Of that sweet delicious rice.

9. Oh joy! Joy! Joy!
Now we have free time.
Oh joy! Joy! Joy!
Now we have free time.

10. Library, internet, boutique,
Or health hut?
Library, internet, boutique,
Or health hut?

11.Tea time by the tree,
The best part of the day!
Tea time by the tree,
The best part of the day!

12. The lecture would be better
If my legs weren’t so numb.
The lecture would be better
If my legs weren’t so numb.

13. Afternoon yoga,
Practice, practice!
Afternoon yoga,
Practice, practice!

14. Why can’t mosquitoes
Be vegetarian?!
Why can’t mosquitoes
Be vegetarian?!

15. It’s hard to “just relax”
Getting eaten alive.
It’s hard to “just relax”
Getting eaten alive.

16. Cold shower, feel clean
For about an hour.
Cold shower, feel clean
For about an hour.

17. Dinner, remember 16
Hours til the next meal.
Dinner, remember 16
Hours til the next meal.

18. Oh joy! Joy! Joy!
Evening free time.
 Joy! Joy! Joy!
Evening free time.

19. Library, internet, boutique,
Or health hut?
Library, internet, boutique,
Or health hut?

20. (Slow)  Evening satsang,
Time to contemplate.
Evening satsang,
Time to contemplate.

21. I am devoted,
Devoted to chairs.
I am devoted,
Devoted to chairs.

22. Chair! Chair! Chair!
My kingdom for a chair!
Chair! Chair! Chair!
My kingdom for a chair!

23. Sivananda, Sivananda, Sivananda!
Sivananda, Sivananda, Sivananda!

24. Ashram life is good,
Once you get used to it.
Ashram life is good,
Once you get used to it.

25. But I’m in pain!
I’m in pain!
Pain absolute,
Pain I am.

26. (slow) When the pain is gone
I’ll feel bliss absolute.
Bliss, bliss, bliss,
Bliss absolute.



The chant went over very well with the audience. So well in fact that for days afterwards people were approaching me to tell me how much they liked the chant and to ask for a copy of the words. 

I think there were three reasons why the chant was so well received. Firstly, the audience was relieved someone did something for the talent show so that they were off the hook. Secondly, they identified all too well with the themes of the chant. And, finally, people at an ashram are so full of love that you will never find a more supportive audience!

I performed the chant again on my second Saturday night at the ashram and added the verses below:


27. Week 2 at the ashram
and things are looking up.
Week 2 at the ashram
and things are looking up.

28. Serving brunch has improved
my forward bend.
Serving brunch has improved 

my forward bend.

29. My abs are stronger
I can even do a shoulder stand.
My abs are stronger
I can even do a shoulder stand.

30. I am devoted
Devoted to oil massage!
I am devoted
Devoted to oil massage!

31. The only thing better,
Is the hot shower afterwards.
The only thing better,
Is the hot shower afterwards.

32. Krishna got married
and we had a big feast.
Krishna got married
and we had a big feast.

33. When you want help with romance
you don't think of an ashram.
When you want help with romance
you don't think of an ashram.

34. But my cloth got blessed,
Now Krishna's finding me a husband!
But my cloth got blessed,
Now Krishna's finding me a husband!

35. We saw films about
Vishu - Devananda.
We saw films about
Vishu - Devananda.


(NB* Swami Vishnu - Devananda brought Swami Sivananda's teachings to the west and established many ashrams around the world)

36. I loved seeing his peace plane
and him in a hammock.
I loved seeing his peace plane
and him in a hammock.

37. Ashram life is good
When you actively participate.
Ashram life is good
When you actively participate.

38. Surrender to the schedule
and pick up a tambourine!
Surrender to the schedule
and pick up a tambourine!

39. (Slow) Sivananda ashram
Thanks for all you've given me.
Sivananda ashram
Thanks for all you've given me.

40. (Slow) Mindfulness, community
and an addiction to coconut balls.
Mindfulness, community
and an addiction to coconut balls.


The new verses to the chant were well received, though the audience vibe was very different to the first week. Two hundred people had arrived at the ashram on that day, for the month long teacher training course, and they were definitely more subdued than the yoga vacation crowd. 

Writing and performing the chant was a hugely positive experience for me. Not only did it allow me an outlet for my emotions, but it really helped to connect me to the ashram community.

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